Character Traits: Possessiveness

Possessiveness definition:

demanding someone’s total attention and love.

Being possessed is something that we really dislike isn’t it? Which is the reason why this is largely negative.No one would really like the idea of being told to do something by someone else. Even if it someone we love.But the basis of possessiveness is the need to feel in control, the need and want to have them listen to us. At the bottom of this, they care. Just that the way it is shown is highly unhealthy and not something we would want to encourage.Because being possessive means that they try to cut their partner off anyone whom they might deem a threat. Threaten the other person who has a close relationship with their partner. At the bottom it is fear but it rarely excuses their behaviour or actions.We all expect our partner to simply sit down with us. And let us work out the relationship and also what must be expected. Not threaten the friend who we might have a relationship with or cut us off contact with them.Or try and harm them. This are not behaviour which is healthy.And brings me to a specific little trope found in romances and erotica. The idea of the bad boy which in this case it is fine to take her by force, to cut her off, to shoot horrible looks at other people.When in real life, this is the sort of person we would stay far far away from. And never ever date. And glorifying it. And giving men the idea that being persistent on the point of harassment is a good way to go. When we should be encouraging the opposite.In a lot of romances, this has been made into something rather desirable. And sometimes even epic fantasies also have this sort of thing, which in most cases many would really see it as rather creepy.And then when they get the girl, it’s time to really cut them off. And of course, saying that they are theirs. If anything this is something that I really wish that it is treated with respect.Being possessive can be seen as protective and making sure that they are taken care of. But there is a line, with possessiveness often crossing it.I mean this can mean also murdering them, making sure no one can get close to them, and of course stalking. Sounds like someone we would call the police on.But in fiction it’s strange that some would find it appealing.